The Lemon Sweet

R. L. Smith was the headmaster of the junior school I attended growing up.

I liked him a lot and was scared of him at the same time.

He was a really tall guy. I mean everyones tall when you’re 5 years old!

He walked with his hands behind his back and had a moustache.

Kinda like an old school ‘Bobby on the Beat’.

Every school trip I went on, he'd come up to me as if I was in trouble but then ask if I had any pakoras in my lunch box.

The reason I bring up Mr Smith is there were 3 simple stories he'd tell every year in assembly that I've never forgotten.

This is the first.

As a year 3 student, (a newbie to the school) he would pull out a lemon sweet in a shiny wrapper and challenge a volunteer (always a newbie) to come up on stage and eat…but without using their hands.

Cue a bunch of Year 3 kids desperately trying to get picked for a free sweet!

Me me me!!!!

I never got picked though.

Maybe becuase I never had any pakoras in my lunch box for him.

As far as I can remember, nobody ever managed it.

Meanwhile, the Year 4s, 5s and 6s were all trying to get in on some of this action as they'd seen the trick before.

Eventually after some truly epic fails, Mr Smith would show everyone how it was done.

"Ask someone else to unwrap it and feed it to you," he'd say.

That was it.

Simple!